level 1 · 1y · edited 1y level 2 · 1y In university I had a roommate who had a complete and utter lack of cooking skills. Every food item they owned came pre-packaged and prepared, even down to that weird bacon that can be stored at room temperature until it’s opened. This person was utterly incapable of even making so much as a PB&J sandwich on their own initiative, unless it came in some kit with instructions on the back.
And also, I don’t know about you, but I’m just not great or well-versed in the area of sandwich bread. Bread is a trial and error thing and not everyone has the time or the money to waste shit like flour, yeast, and other staple ingredients for a loaf of bread to come out all crumbly. Some people are on tight budgets
Some people also work full time, have kids, and various other obligations and don’t want to be kneading bread all damn day.
Right? Making pizza from scratch IS making the crust. The rest is just slapping on ingredients.
By the way, I can out-gatekeep her pretty damn easily:
And I have to wonder if Caren is surrounded by people who are the same way that this has resulted in having an extremely inflated view of her entry level skill set.
”So I quietly picked up some extra meat today. A few packages of ground beef for meatloaf and meatballs. Chicken breasts for entrees. My favorite bratwurst. And don’t forget the Italian sausage. All are now sitting in my freezer in anticipation of the coming weeks of empty meat cases. I have become the problem.”
level 2 · 1y Okay but like fr, I cannot find yeast anywhere!! It’s the only thing that’s still consistently out of stock when I go grocery shopping lmao
”I don’t understand why people in New Jersey are hoarding.”
level 2 · 1y pro-MSG doctor That struck me too. Making pizza is one of the easiest things to do. Even making the mozzarella for pizza is pretty simple.
level 1 · 1y Why are you booing me? I’m right. Even worse is if you click her name and go to her bio, it shows all her articles. The previous one is titled, “How I Became a Pandemic Hoarder.”
Is this some form of comedy? Sarcasm? Parody? Trolling? This cannot be serious.
level 2 · 1y · edited 1y not italian enough I am proud that I make my own pizzas, mainly because I think it’s pretty satisfying, and I’m a saver so it’s just a nice way to save money on pizza. I just get personal satisfaction out of knowing that I can eat well, on the cheap. That’s all. But I certainly wouldn’t have a stick up my ass about it.
level 2 · 1y Bro, even if you don’t have sourdough starter, yeasts and bacteria are fucking everywhere. All you need is flour, water, salt, something to keep them in, and a few days’ time.
I mean, look – not everybody has time to make every single scrap of bread in their house. Hell, I don’t even want to chop my own garlic half the time. And you know what, sometimes I get those Just Crack and Egg thingies because I’m hungry and want something quick. Does that mean I don’t ever cook, or that I’m some degenerate with no class or taste in “good” food? No, I just got shit to do, man. I can’t always be preparing food
“It didn’t matter that I have enough toilet paper at home. I had a primal need to grab it before someone else did.” stop baking bread article
Why You stop baking bread article Need to Stop Baking Bread iamveryculinary
level 2 · 1y · edited 1y Also if you’re ordering pizza not from a chain, they’re also making it from scratch , “including the crust”.
level 2 · 1y But is that sourdough starter organic ? She’s THAT person, you know.
”I grabbed two packages and tossed them into my cart. Why two? Because the sign said “Limit Two”. If it had said “Limit Six” I would have grabbed six packages of toilet paper.”
level 2 · 1y Lol, I found that peculiar too.
What about people like me who don’t like sourdough?
level 2 · 1y · edited 10m Continue this thread level 1 · 1y This is amazing. Too good not to share.
Sounds like a better first bread project than a loaf anyway.
If you’re making pizza from scratch the bigger brag is making the sauce starting with whole tomatoes.
What is she doing whining about the stores being out of yeast? What kind of dilettante baker doesn’t have a sourdough starter?
Wow Caren, pizza dough from scratch? And you made it all by your widdle self? Congrats, I guess.
level 2 · 1y Normally when I make pizza I only make the base but use store bought crusts
Younger me would have boasted about getting fucked on Saturday night while she’s over there kneading pizza dough, but whatever
Baking bread is a way of life for me, not a hobby.
level 2 · 1y It was spectacular. That website is sure tedious to navigate through, though. Every response has to be clicked through to?
If not, I’m just not interested, Caren. You put store-bought pepperoni and store-bought cheese on your dough made from store-bought flour, didn’t you? Didn’t you, Caren?
level 2 · 1y Yeah, pizza crust is pretty simple to make. Come to think of it, that’d probably be a great first bread attempt for people who’ve never baked bread before. It’s forgiving, simple, and even if you get it a bit wrong you’re going to be putting pizza on top of it which will cover up for a lot of errors.
I, mean, how can I take her seriously when she isn’t scraping yeast out of wine casks?
“Stop baking bread so I CAN BAKE BREAD ”
Is she literally growing her own vegetables and slaughtering her own animals and milking her own cows and making her own cheese and bottling her own tomato sauce and creating her own charcuterie and topping her homemade pizza dough with the things she coaxed from the earth herself and then cooking it in a wood-fired oven stoked with wood she grew herself from seeds she harvested in a forest?
Search within r/iamveryculinary r/iamveryculinary Log In Sign Up User account menu Found the internet! 648 Why You Need to Stop Baking Bread Close 648 Posted by 1 year ago Archived Why You Need to Stop Baking Bread medium.com/@caren… 361 comments share save hide report This thread is archived New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast Sort by: best View all comments View discussions in 11 other communities level 1 Mod · 1y · Stickied comment Maillard reactionary She deleted her account, so here’s the archive , courtesy of /u/Skeevenmac
Are we sure this isn’t a satire site? I feel like I might be falling for an onion article if not for the fact that other people have noted she goes on to double down in the comments.
As one of the comments on the bread article put it, this woman lacks self awareness more than most people.
level 2 · 1y I mean, I make pizza crust from scratch, but a) my personal favorite pizza to make is Chicago deep dish, which has a rather unusual crust composition, and b) I have a bread machine so it’s not exactly an epic production – six ingredients and a 90 minute dough cycle. But I do it every couple of months, not every time I want pizza — I order out like normal people.
“Y’all need to stop shitting so I can shit.”
She’s trying to flex about something that nobody is likely to be impressed by. Like, stop baking bread article